The LEgend of Thick Richard
Thick Richards Ranch has been working its meat and meat accessories for over 500 years. It all Started in 1512 with Jedediah PIk. Jedediah was a Dutch poultry farmer and was blessed with the largest cock in the land. To Jedediah his cock was nothing special. However the tales of Jedediah’s magnificent plump cock spread around the world. Jedediah realizing he had something special he started the world’s first chicken artificial insemination business.
Jedediah had a son Dirk. Dirk carried on Jedediah’s legacy. Dirk was blessed with genes of Jedediah’s glorious cock Dirk continues spreading his masterpieces seed around the world. . However on a cold lonely night. Dirk and his wife Leive found they could slowly soak and warm their cock culminating in some of the most intense cock juice ever produced. So started the family broth business. Dirk and Leive would juice cocks for kings, queens, and other heads of state.
Dirk and Leive had a son named Noud. Noud continued expanding the family’s burging meat and meat accessories business. Noud however knew he could do more with his meat that has already been done. One day Noud was gently handling his meat as usual. However he decided to try something he had read about from the far lands of India. Without hesitation he jerked his meat for the first time. He found he could jerk his meat multiple times a day producing the best jerky in the world. He found he could also not jerk his meat but other meats as well. Before long Noud and his neighbors formed an alliance and jerked a variety of meats, beef, pork, turkey, bison, and more.
Before long Noud and his neighbors formed an alliance and jerked a variety of meats, beef, pork, turkey, bison, and more.
In the early 1900s Richard Dirk Sr. decided to spread the family’s meat and meat accessories to America. Richard settled in Utah carving out a ranch to share the family’s meat with America. Richard was a girthy man earning him the nickname Thick Richard. Thick Dick as he is sometimes called further expanded the family business into clothing, leather goods, and more.
Most of, if not all of the above is made up. The only exception is, our goal to spread our meat and meat accessories across the world
